I began my career in development when I was 26. I was excited, I could legally rent a car. My early days of road warrior fundraising were focused on visiting class agents and working as a discovery officer to identify new leadership giving prospects. My personal record was 11 visits in one day. I loved it. I was aiming for my boss’s record, he saw 12. It was thrilling and exhausting all at the same time. The contact reports took another half day to write but I digress. I received very little training out of the gate on how to conduct a visit with a prospect. The one best tip I learned, and one I still use today, is “you have two ears and one mouth and you should use them in that ratio.” That may not always be the right way, but it is still a good place to start. 

One thing I wish someone had talked to me about as a new fundraiser was personal safety. As fundraisers we find ourselves in strange places to accommodate the needs of our prospects. On any given day when I was on the road, nobody knew where I was, or who I was with. There are lots of things in life that are outside of our control. You can’t predict when a natural disaster will hit. Similarly, you can’t control the behavior of others. What you can do is put yourself in the safest position possible. Unfortunately, personal safety was something I took for granted early in my career.

Let me tell you my story. I was in my late 20s and a high performing member of my team by all metrics. Similar to how I still am today, I was boldly optimistic. I was working to engage new alumni prospects and on a trip to New York. I met with an alumnus who was fairly unknown. Nobody had been to visit him but research indicated he had a good experience in school and was successful in his career. He welcomed my email outreach and  I met him for dinner at a restaurant in New York. We connected in the lobby, were seated at the table, and both ordered a drink while we waited for our entree order. I had come from an earlier appointment and was rushing to arrive on time. While the server was bringing our drinks, I excused myself to the restroom. I came back, sipped my drink, and engaged in normal prospect discovery conversation. We were eating our meals and I started to feel unwell. I was dizzy. I felt fine all day and the feeling came on quickly. I didn’t know what was happening. I excused myself again to the restroom. The room began to spin. I locked the door to the bathroom stall. When I woke up, I was in the local hospital emergency room. I had no idea what had happened. I’m going to spare you the details of the investigation but in short, that alumnus put GHB in my drink. 

This is the first time I’ve told that story publicly but I often share it in 1:1 coaching sessions with my team members. I want people to know that bad things can happen to anyone and you have to take care of yourself. I tell all of my staff, you are a person first and an employee second. I tell them to make the decision that feels right for their personal safety and I will back them up every time. I have also instituted practices where development officers share a prospect visit calendar, we know who the officer is with at any point on a trip. The purpose of the calendar isn’t to micromanage, it’s for safety. I always encourage my team to meet people in public, you can have a private conversation in an environment that is still interruptible and observable. I’ve made many major appeals at quiet tables in corners of restaurants. If I’m visiting someone’s home, I often invite a colleague who can add to the conversation or advance the relationship. I’m not saying I never meet prospects alone but I self-advocate based on my personal comfort level and the circumstances of the meeting. Every person gets to set the boundaries that are appropriate for them. It’s okay to offer another suggestion if the initial recommendation makes you feel uncomfortable. 

Not long ago, one of my gift officers was leaving an event. She had a strange feeling about someone she encountered and felt uncomfortable walking to her car.  It was late, there was no visible security, her spouse didn’t answer the phone, so she called me. I talked to her until she was safe in her car and driving away. As a leader, positioning yourself as a resource is important so your team knows they can rely on you. I was at another event when she called, it didn’t matter. My team knows if they call, I will answer. I ensure every one of my team members hears the “personal safety talk” from me before they begin any external work for the organization. I think it’s as important as any on-boarding training. I make it clear that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about and I am a safe space for them. 

My words of advice, find out what the safety practices are at your organization. If you aren’t comfortable with the current systems, speak up. If you are a leader, proactively address the topic of personal safety in a way that is appropriate for your organization and empowers your colleagues to act in their best interest. Safety shouldn’t be a luxury in fundraising.